How can I let my money flow when I get this intense feeling of panic anytime I spend it? After saving for weeks, I finally allow myself to go shopping and experience a near panic attack as I walk out of the store with my purchases. Sheesh!
Money and spending is a constant thorn in my side and has been for as long as I can remember. Money has always felt like a nuisance, a disappointment, a struggle and a problem.
– There is never enough.
– It goes too fast.
– It is not okay for me to spend it on myself (don’t want to be a spoiled brat!).
– It is hard to save for a rainy day.
– I do not feel like creating a budget (That’s the 5-year-old inside whining!).
Money as a source of discomfort started from my childhood experience of how my parents handled it. Money was the source of much anxiety and many arguments between them and I totally picked up on it. It is definitely a family pattern and I see myself locked in some of those old habits.
The Money Monster
Money is totally scary to me; I avoid it like the plague. I avoid talking about it, I avoid asking for it and I generally try to ignore the discomfort it brings up. But, as a Coach, I know this isn’t healthy and I intend to get to the bottom of it!
Trust me I have had to call myself out on money since I started working part-time for a Business Success Coach who talks healthy money tips all day long in the office chair behind me! I listen to her coach her clients and think to myself, “Gosh, I should be doing that!”
Better Times Ahead
I have decided that this pattern ends with me. I am tired of the struggle and I have the tools to change it so why not? It isn’t the type of thing I can tap on by myself though. I know this because of all the hiding I do around money. I have enlisted the help of my EFT Coach for support in the money arena.
We have already started working on some of my past memories of watching my mom and dad handle money. We are working on my discomfort with asking for my worth. Next we work on the mixed signals I received when it came to exchanging chores for an allowance. I am so excited to release this pattern and soon, it should be a problem of the past!
Over and out!
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