Anger is sneaky!
Why? Think back to your childhood. Most (not all, but most) of us were taught to hide our anger, stuff our anger or avoid expressing it. We were taught that only adults are allowed to be angry.
Do you remember mom ever saying, “Oh you’re angry, honey? Well go ahead and get that anger out. Yell, kick and scream at me until you feel better, okay love?” Or do you recall dad ever saying, “Wow! You look angry, you should tell me what’s on your mind. Go ahead be honest and tell me exactly how you feel right now. Don’t hold back! Let it all out.”
Riiiggghhhttt. That never happens. And that, my friends, is why anger is so dang sneaky!
Unearthing The Gold (aka Anger)
Buried anger is one of the hardest things to access and one of the biggest drivers behind self-sabotage behavior. This is why it is vital to dig the anger out and release it. If you don’t you’ll be left stuck wondering why you can’t make the changes you want. Why it feels like something besides you is driving your behavior.
There are a few different ways to start sniffing out buried anger using EFT.
– “I don’t have any anger.” If you find yourself thinking that thought, though it may be true, it also may be true that you will not allow yourself to access it. So you can start tapping on, “I don’t have any anger. I’m not an angry person. I don’t feel my anger. I can’t find my anger.” Continue tapping on whatever phrases pop into your mind. If nothing comes up, take a deep breath and pick it up another day. You will eventually start getting in touch with your anger.
– “I can’t remember being angry as a child.” If this is you, then what you will want to do is find current day situations in which you experience anger. Once you start tapping on your current outbursts, your mind will take you back to your past memories that need to be tapped through. So daisy chain along with it! You can start tapping on your current day problem, “My co-worker makes me angry. I can’t stand when they make excuses for missing an important deadline! I get so angry I shut down.” And so on…
– “I’ll be punished if I show anger.” If you feel like it’s ‘bad’ to show your anger or you feel fear just thinking about ‘going there’, then you will want to start from exactly where you are. Tap on phrases like, “I wasn’t allowed to show anger. Mom and dad sent me to my room as punishment when I was angry. There are consequences when you get angry. I got into trouble when I threw a tantrum.”
If it wasn’t okay for you to express your anger as a kid then you might find this process very uncomfortable in the beginning. You will want to work with coach if you find yourself avoiding it!
If At First You Don’t Succeed…
…Try and try again. What I’m saying is if you don’t access the anger immediately, within a week or even within a month, do not give up. It’s like this: you have most likely spent years and years carefully pushing anger down, avoiding and maybe even hiding from it without even knowing. You might come from generations of people who were never allowed to acknowledge or express their true anger. Give yourself the time and space to make it safe to access this completely normal, healthy, human emotion.
Happy Tapping, my friends!
Didn’t find what’s holding your anger back in the bullet points above? Let me know! Send me an email HERE and I will send you a couple of tapping phrases to get you started. I love hearing from fans of my blog;-)
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