I vividly remember a version of myself where I did not feel prepared to help others as a Life Coach. She’s not that old of a version of me, actually.
Yes, I definitely had the EFT Practitioner thing down. I had taken all the trainings, passed the tests and knew the material like the back of my hand. However, the Life Coach part of the equation is where I felt I was lacking. You know the part where I’m supposed to feel like I am good at what I do and have value enough to be sought out? That is where I struggled. I found (and sometimes still find) myself hiding behind excuses.
It’s not that I did not want to help others or thought I was incapable. I’ve been a certified EFT Practitioner for a couple of years now and I completed all of my 50 hours of practice work so I possessed a decent amount of experience. It wasn’t that there was a lack of people asking for direction either. The problem was that I needed to feel ‘fixed’ before feeling like I could enrich another’s life. I thought, “In order for me to coach someone on any given problem I needed to have eradicated that particular problem from my life.”
Why Not Now?
“If I could just get over this…” or “Once I solve this in my life then I can…” or “As soon as I release this one block I will be able to…” That was the tape playing through my mind. I totally bought into it!
Was that a sane line of reasoning? Hardly. If you wait to start, you never will.
When do we ever have life completely figured out, problems totally solved and progress in the bag? Moreover, who wants to work with a perfectly flawless-know-it-all-anyway? Uh, no one.
No One is Seeking Perfection
We ask others for help as a way to say, “Hey, will you stand with me in a sort-of partnership while we dig around for an ideal solution?” The clients have the answers inside of them and don’t really need the answers from anyone else (namely you). We merely crave another’s presence to be a mirror to our own self.
It’s simple yet complicated. You think someone else is saying profound things and giving you the answers but they aren’t. They are reflecting what’s inside you in a way where you can see it clearly enough to come to a solution.
Excuses Be Gone!
So while you are sitting there thinking you do not have enough experience or do not know the most cutting-edge advanced techniques, your future clients are missing out.
All they need is you, just as you are now. It’s your energy, your presence and your personality that make you great at what you do. It isn’t the ‘advanced techniques’ or the ‘fancy certifications’ that will make you the best you can be. It’s actually your willingness to meet them exactly where they are and support them that will make your work with them most powerful.
All that is needed is you to hold a space for them to come to their own realizations about what’s going on in their lives. They possess the answers you bring the clarity by ‘digging it out of them’.
I See This Behavior Daily
I work part-time as an assistant to a Success Coach here in NYC and I hear her on the phone with her clients all day trying to get them to realize that they are ready to dive in and go for it in their businesses. They think they need to have all of these structures (newsletters, websites and CRM databases) in place before they can feel like they are finally successful business owners.
Yes, these things are very important, but they will not magically snap everything into place like you might think they will. Sometimes waiting until these things are complete is a way of procrastinating.
Pushing things out into the future can feel like a safety zone. This is not a bad thing, sometimes we all need to feel safe. It’s simply something to be aware of as you are moving towards your goal, whatever it may be.
The Moral of the Story
Start where you are and take on small action step towards your goal. You will never ‘arrive’ and feel like now is that time you have been waiting for all along. Nope. It doesn’t exist. A lot of times I’m scared out of my mind to move forward and I’ll just think to myself “Well, fuck it. If I don’t do it now when will I?”
How do you get out of feeling afraid to move forward and move past the “not quite there yet’ mindset? Email me, Eftinformation@gmail.com.
– Terran Leigh
KEEP CALM AND TAP ON IT
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