I Want You To Be Selfish

I never really used the phrase “warp speed” until 2014 hit. Now I notice it’s become a regular part of my vocabulary. This year has created a new pace in my life.  It’s super fast and shows no sign of slowing.  Eeek!

I’ve noted that the second something feels somewhat stable in my life, something comes along and BAM! things get scrambled again.

It’s hard to keep up at times! I stay calm as best as I can but it’s so not easy. I’ve learned (the hard way!) to trust that everything will turn out okay and I’m just along for a wild ride.  Yay…I guess?

I know some of you may be experiencing the same thing.  Do you feel like you can’t seem feel safe and grounded no matter how hard you try? Would you use “topsy-turvy” to describe a typical day in your life? Do you notice your life is unrecognizable from day-to-day because so many changes are taking place? Well then yes, you know what this feels like! Congratulations…I guess?

Here is what I’ve been doing in my life to support myself through these ‘fast-forward’ moments.

Pencil Yourself In  – Book time daily on your calendar that is for you and only you to do something you enjoy.  This is crucial!  Don’t say you’re going to do it someday when you have more time.  Do it now.  You can read a few passages of your latest book or take a quick walk to clear your head.  Whatever puts a smile on your face and a bounce in your step is fair game! If you can’t spare more than 5 minutes per day initially then 5 minutes is a great starting point.  You will find as you dedicate small chunks of time to yourself, that time will grow and expand.

Give Yourself a Gift – Whether it is small (your favorite bouquet of flowers), large  (taking a day off of work to spend with yourself), inexpensive (savor your walk/drive home from work) or pricey (a day at the spa) you will want to gift yourself with something that makes you feel nourished. It doesn’t matter so much what you do but rather that you do it.  Think intention not size.

Grab a Break – You work hard all day everyday for your family, friends, boss and significant other…great!  You know as well as I do you will stop whatever you are doing to be there for the people you love in your life.  You take calls from your family when they need, you do what your significant other asks when they express a desire and you deliver projects on time when your boss makes a request.  We know you are great at pleasing other people.

Now for the hard part: turn it around.  What do you think would happen if you used this same concept for yourself? Do you think you would start becoming happier? Maybe feel more confident? Feel less stress?  Create more quiet time to use for your own relaxation?

I didn’t think ANY of this would happen once I started taking breaks for my own health but this is exactly what happened!

Here is a helpful hint:  grab your phone, go to the alarm/reminder options and program a couple of 5-10 minute alarms to sound throughout your day.  These breaks are for you and you alone. You want these breaks to happen during the weekdays as well as over the weekends.  When the alarm sounds, stop whatever you are doing (assuming you aren’t performing open heart surgery at that particular moment!) and do something for you! It’s your own personal fun time!  Your job is only to enjoy every delicious minute. The only catch: I recommend not using this break to eat or smoke or distract yourself in any way.

Release Resistance.

I’ll be honest with you.  If you do take my above advice and implement the daily practices you will have some discomfort surface.  You may feel incredibly selfish taking breaks for yourself and it might feel really weird to gift yourself everyday. It is okay…just breath and forge ahead!

When resistance and discomfort strikes our trusty friend, tapping, can come in and save the day (and our sanity!).  When you feel resistance or anxiety surface, just voice it out load and tap the acupressure points.

I’m including a tapping script below to give you a starting point but you’ll want to insert your own words as you tap.  You’ll also want to include any memories that surface while you tap.  Being specific is always better!

Here we go:

Even though I feel like a selfish brat putting myself first, it’s okay to breathe through this.

Even though I have absolutely no time to spare in my busy day, I am open to finding small moments I can spare for myself.

Even though I don’t deserve to dedicate time to me I love that I’m at least reading this blog post because it is opening my mind to a brand new concept!

EB: My time is precious, I can’t spare a single moment for myself!

SE: Who do I think I am wasting time on my own self?

UE: What a greedy brat I’m training myself to be!

CB: I can’t stand feeling greedy and selfish

EB: I’m a good person and I would never want to put others aside for my own selfish needs

SE: But the truth is something has got to give

UE: My life is zooming past and changing quickly

CB: If I learn to slow down by inserting breaks and gifts for myself I can flourish in a whole new way

EB: Why don’t I try giving myself what I wish other people would give me? I do deserve a little time and attention.

SE: I choose to give it a chance

UE: I am open to at least trying something different

CB: I can ease into it

EB: I can relax

SE: I can bring in ease and TLC for myself!

UE: I can let go a little and see what happens

CB: I’ve got this!

EB: I choose to feel calm

SE: I choose to find easy ways to make this work

UE: I choose to put myself first by giving myself much-needed time and attention

CB: I’m choosing to be okay with the process

EB: I’m choosing to be okay with being all about my needs

SE: I can start small and grow my practice more each day

UE: Releasing and relaxing

CB: Relaxing and delighting in my own self-nourishment

Stop tapping and take a nice, long, deep breath.  Now, don’t you feel better? Maybe a bit more willing to be selfish? Anticipating your next personal break-time?

Be Ever So Gentle.

As always I totally insist you take baby steps and ease into this new practice slowly.  Easy does it, my loves! It’s way better to make a little progress here and there than to bite off more than you can chew and give up.

Email me with your progress in implementing these practices. I love hearing what’s going on in your lives.  I’m excited to hear about the new insights that pop in as you grow and change.

Best of luck to you guys!


Want a partner in crime to tap along with you? You can purchase sessions with me here.


– Terran Leigh


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Twitter: @terranleighEFT

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