This blog post will take on a more serious note. I’m writing it because I’ve been dealing with this subject and I want to be transparent with my life. It’s not all bubble baths, cupcakes and green smoothies you know!
I say this a lot: EFT only works if you actually use it. Though I’m a practitioner and I work with people on their issues I still have to remind myself to use it on myself. I recently experienced a (surprisingly) tough breakup. I’m still dealing with the remnants of it now. I don’t know why this relationship affected me so much because I’ve had longer relationships before, but it is as it is.
Since this breakup has knocked me on my butt I’ve had quite a bit of opportunity to practice what I preach: use EFT to move quickly through your emotions instead of stewing in them. The truth is we are all human and emotions/feelings come standard. Life is going to throw curveballs at you on a daily basis and the best way to move through them is to us whatever tool(s) help(s) you relax and let go. The tool which helps you the most will be different from what the next person uses, for me it happens to be EFT tapping but don’t limit yourself to what I use. Do your research and try different techniques to see what works best for you.
Anyway, back to dealing with my emotions. For two months straight after the split I tapped and cried, tapped and raged, tapped and felt depressed, tapped and felt confused; I tapped my brains out! It has paid off as I quickly moved through most of the big stuff in the course of a few weeks to a month and a half.
I can honestly say I don’t know if that’s fast or slow because I don’t have a benchmark from personal experience for this reaction to a breakup. It’s honestly the first time I’ve had my heart broken by a guy before. If I go off of what my girlfriends say: it takes 6 months to get over a 1 year relationship, so I consider this a quickie. I have EFT to thank for that. I’ve had a few passing comments from my girlfriends saying I’m “handling this so well compared to the amount of time it took them to get over a broken heart” and “it’s hard to believe you are feeling better this quickly”. All these things are great but I still have to remind myself that I’m not over it all yet. Emotions come in waves or, layers, if you will ,and though I’ve moved through the heavy stuff, I’m far from finished.
I made a promise to myself to stop what I’m doing (if at all possible) and tap or just “be” with my feelings when they surface. When I find myself feeling sad over this guy, I do just that: stop, breathe and tap on exactly what I’m feeling. Or if I don’t feel like tapping I simply stop and meditate on the feelings. I sit still and focus on it until it dissipates. Within no time I’m feeling better or at least different and then eventually “better” will come.
I notice that I do have more clarity when using EFT versus not using it. After time passed and the breakup wasn’t so fresh anymore, I was able to clearly see what I needed to do to support myself which has been elusive in my past experience. This was especially helpful because I have so many well-meaing girlfriends who kindly supplied advice on how to deal, what to do, say, be, act like and anything else you can ask for. I found myself getting caught up in their advice, which wasn’t bad by any means it just wasn’t right for me. It wasn’t until I tapped through all of my confusion I realized what was right for me and my life.
It’s a full time job being human and on top of that, being a (super emotional) girl! Here are some of the subjects I’ve tapped on while going through the pain from this breakup.
– I’m Broken …which is why he doesn’t love me anymore.
– Rejection …what did I do wrong and the shoulda, coulda, wouldas.
– I Should Not Have Opened My Heart …then this pain never would have happened.
– He was the Love of My Life …and now there is no hope for me to be happy.
– I’ll Never Love Again …because this is too painful to face a second time.
– He was the Perfect Guy …and now I’m ignoring the fact that we had our issues to work through.
In each of my subsequent blog posts I’ll dive into each subject with more details on what I experienced and the tapping scripts I used so you too can use this process to support your own healing if any of it applies to your life in any way.
I shared this experience with you because I want to be real and honest: life isn’t a cake walk and EFT isn’t some magical wand that whisks all pain away instantly and protects you from pain in the future. What it does is support you by releasing the pent up energy and emotions that are brought on by tough situations. It also ushers the pain of that event out of the door faster than anything I’ve ever tried before. It serves to keep you from building a deeply engrained pattern based off of both traumatic and non-traumatic experiences. It gives you a fresh new perspective that may have taken you years to achieve had you not cleared yourself of the emotions/thoughts/feelings that were blocking your vision.
EFT is an EASY button for your reactions to life’s “fun parts” (and by “fun”…I mean challenging!), so don’t stop tapping peeps!